How Twitter is like riding public transportation.

I have a confession to make. Twitter scares me. I know that sounds silly, but it does. I don’t quite get how it works. I have looked into it a couple of times. Actually, that’s how I found The Bloggess. I was trying to see if I could just “lurk” around and check things out before I committed to twittering. I’m not really sure how I did it, but I am very glad I found her.
Back to twittering. Why? I mean, I guess if you are a celebrity I can see why you would do it; people are already rummaging through your garbage and chasing you down with cameras . Why not go ahead and share whatever random thought or plug for you current project whenever you choose. But why would a random person like me need a twitter feed? Who exactly would “follow” me and would I really want them to follow me? It’s either really creepy or really self-indulgent.
But that’s not why it makes me think of riding public transportation. It’s the scary part. And when I say public transportation, I mean the bus system. No, this actually applies to ALL forms, but most ESPECIALLY buses. They are the final frontier for me. I can’t ride public transportation by myself on the first go. Once I rode the MARTA in Atlanta, the METRO in DC, and even the NYC subway, WITH SOMEONE ELSE, I was fine. Although I still don’t think I am ready for a solo ride in NYC. I just am not ready for the public bus yet.
When I was 12 I lived in a Miami suburb with my mom. I was in 7th grade and I had detention for some reason. I honestly don’t remember the reason; if I did, I would most definitely share because it was probably funny enough to share. So I had detention, which meant I would miss the bus and have no way home. When I call and let my mother know this fact she explains to me that, she is at work and cannot leave her job because I didn’t follow the rules. She proceeds to explain EXACTLY how I should begin walking home, and she would meet up with me when she was done and pick me up. She gave explicit and simple instructions. . . that I chose not to follow.
I decided that it made more sense to follow the bus route because “it seemed shorter and more direct” to my soooo knowledgable 12 year old mind. Somehow (and I really don’t remember how and I wish I did, seriously, I don’t know how I did this), I ended up on a public bus . Toting my books and my alto clarinet case. An alto clarinet is a larger, stand up version of what most people are familiar. And it has a horn end like a saxophone. And it is 3-4 tall. And I wasn’t even 5 ft tall.
I remember being at a gas station while someone got ahold of my mother. This was 1982 and there were no mobile phones. Do you know how hard it is to locate a mother who is out franticly driving around Miami looking for her daughter without a mobile phone??? Me either. I was 12 and didn’t pay attention to such things. Now that I have a 2 yr old smarter and male version of me, Goddess help. 
I safely returned to the bosom of my mommy, and I guess I have a mental block on whatever punishment I got for that one ,because all I know is that I haven’t stepped foot on a public bus in 29 years. I’m not saying I won’t or that I wouldn’t ride a public bus, I am just not out looking for opportunities. And of course I would NOT be doing so by myself. 
Which brings me back to Twitter. I guess if I had someone to “take that first ride with”, it might not be so scary. But I still don’t know why I would want my own twitter feed. The people physically around me don’t always get the shit that’s in my head. Why would I want to give perfect strangers the opportunity to go WTF?? But the nosey side of me doesn’t mind the idea of lurking around in other peoples heads and saying WTF??? I haven’t figured out how to follow without being followed. Good thing I’m not a spy. Or a drug runner. Either way, I’m not ready for the bus. And I’m not ready for Twitter.


About goddessofglitter

I like to laugh
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3 Responses to How Twitter is like riding public transportation.

  1. gojulesgo says:

    Ha! I feel the same trepidation with both! Trying to keep up with even the Twitter celebs you follow is impossible. I’ve learned that you can either have a real life or have an online life – if you want both, you have to give up sleep.

    Man. Are we just old? 😉

    • I can’t live without sleep so I gave up housework instead! Yeah, old is right! Technically. Since I refuse to actually grow up completely. I don’t know how so many people seem to have time for so much. . . ah, that’s right, Redbull! I discovered that recently, and I will have to stick to coffee and leave the Redbull for the special occasion pick-me-ups.
      If I ever decide to try twitter or the bus it might make for an interesting blog post. . .

  2. Jeff says:

    What the hell is the difference between a twitter and a tweet? Both are a complete misuse of opposable thumbs. It took me more than sixty years to stop talking with my middle fingers, and now I’m supposed to use my thumbs? I don’t think so.

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