courtesy of brandyrasmuson.com but this is me in my faery form I just know it!
Random Shit From My Head
One of the frustrating things about writing a blog, for me, is the timing of my ideas. They seem to come at the most inappropriate times. Like when I’m driving to work. Or in the shower yelling at my toddler to put his clothes on while mommy takes a shower because “we gotta go”!. Or when I’m actually working and don’t have the time to write anything down or the time to even finish a thought of an idea because I have orders to remember, drinks to refill, food to run, and damn, what were those other three things I was supposed to be doing?
So here I am, sitting in my car waiting in line to get a required inspection, and figured I better take the opportunity while I had it. Otherwise I will discover that three days have gone by and I no longer know why I thought the idea would make an amusing blog post. (*Of course the husband picks this moment to call and chat. Not that I don’t appreciate the thought, but I’m pretty sure my thought train and inspiration aren’t going to last long enough to get this finished before its my turn for the inspection. If anyone is actually reading this then I probably just parked in the gas station lot to finish. I’ll let you know. Maybe. I hope)
Well that was distracting! Necessary conversation, but distracting none the less. And I was right, of course, my turn came after we hung up and now I am standing inside the store part of the station using the counter of junk food to finish this before I forget my ideas. Again. I guess I have decided not to worry how weird this might look. Which, nowadays isn’t as I weird as I think it is to see someone standing in a gas station store typing on an iPad. . . or is it? Wait. Don’t answer that, I would rather remain naively happy about my version of seizing the moment.
Just when I’m getting going and the inspection is done! I was kind of enjoying my iPad moment amongst the junk food. No available parking spots at the gas station, but this bank parking lot next door will do. Not done seizing the moment and I really don’t want to lose my idea. I’m pretty sure I won’t find it as amusing in three days as I do now. As it is, I’m trying not to think about it as one of those better-left-in-my-head ideas.
Once in awhile, when I get an idea while I’m driving my commute to work, I wonder if I should try using the recorder thing on my phone and dictate to myself my ideas. Then I start to think about how I really don’t like the sound of my own voice and trying to listen back to myself would get just too weird. I know I would spend more time thinking about how in the hell my husband, friends, coworkers, and customers can tolerate hearing me speak, than I would listening to my ideas. It’s one thing to listen to the same song over and over and over again. I do that because I like the sound of that voice. Listening to my voice saying the same kooky thing multiple times would make it really difficult to do my job. If this post is your first introduction to me, I’m a server at an Alehouse. I kind of have to talk in my line of work.
So I have come to the conclusion that it’s a good thing that I have no talent for singing, since you have to hear yourself all the time. Even if you aren’t famous and you don’t have a hit record you do have to listen to recordings of yourself in the process of making a record, right? I have also realized that’s it’s most likely a good thing that I never became confident enough to realize my childhood dream of becoming a famous actress. . . I had to video myself for a speech class I took a few years ago and became profoundly uncomfortable watching all the weird quirks and mannerisms I never knew I had. And the last few years and the development of smartphone cameras have really made it difficult to ignore the aging process going on with my face. I’m almost 42, and even though I get told by many many people, even strangers, that I don’t look anywhere near my age, I can’t help noticing that slightly melted wax look whenever I try and take a picture to update my profile or show my new hair color. No one else sees it, at least that’s what I am told, but I can’t help noticing that one eye looks slightly puffier and has a wee bit more droop going on; and I don’t care what anyone tries to tell me because I can plainly see the awkward crook to my nose. Kind of smooshed and to one side.
Ummm, I guess I am done spewing random shit from my head. My iPad battery is down to 6% and for some unjustifiable reason the car charger won’t charge my iPad. It’s even kind enough to inform me that it’s “not charging” right next to the little battery icon. Plus, reality calls. I have a couple errands to complete and a Buzzsaw to pick up from daycare. Then I get to return to a house that received no well-intended cleaning today. I was going to get to that in a minute. . .