I Don’t Work Here Anymore

 

I quit my job yesterday. After five years and nine months at the same place (at 43 yrs of age it’s my longest job), I turned in my notice.  I told them back in May that I was going to be leaving, but true to form I waited until the last minute to turn in my notice.  In the past when I have left a job it was because I was moving away.  It takes a lot to make me leave a job.  It is such a pain in the ass to fill out applications, update a résumé, interview, etc.  but once in awhile you find a job, maybe not the perfect job, but a job where you feel you belong; and even though you are ready to leave, moving on is still hard.

Dogfish Head Alehouse in Falls Church Virginia is one of those places. It’s just a restaurant. But for the last 5 yrs 9 months, it was my home away from home.  It was my connection to a world outside of babies, suburbia, and marriage.  It was my ground zero for perpetual youth.  I worked with a bunch of 20 something’s and I fit right in! Up until last call anyway; the REAL twenty-something’s headed out for a night of partying while I headed home to my bed in suburbia with my hubby. Before Buzzsaw and before suburbia, I would hang out and enjoy pretending that I fit in to the night life.  I really didn’t fit in , and I didn’t really mind.  But faces changed and life changed, and somehow, most surprisingly to myself, I changed.  What I started wanting most in my life was, can’t believe I’m saying this, was normalcy.  I wanted to be able to do family thingies, hang out with our neighbors, make plans for weekends and holiday.  For the first time in my life I WANTED a 9-5 ish lifestyle.

I have worked in the military, healthcare, and  restaurant service. Not one of those gives you a “tradional” lifestyle.  I reveled in it.  I don’t want to be “normal”, that’s boring.  I don’t want to be responsible, what a pain in the ass!  But you know what? Kids don’t give a shit what you want. LIFE doesn’t give a shit what I want.  Soooooo, over the last, probably two years, I have been trying to figure out what the hell to do.  Can’t get by on one income right now; well we could, and we will, just not much left over, but it had taken me that long to figure what I could do with the skills that I have and still earn a nice income and eventually have the life that I want.  That’s a life that no longer deals with “if I’m not working I’m not earning money.”  I loved waitressing. I enjoyed the people and the atmosphere.  I just didn’t enjoy the sacrifices on my family.  I got tired of missing my husband.  I got tired of missing bedtime with my kid.  I got tired of being TIRED, even when I wasn’t working.

I needed to find something that would be interesting enough to engage me AND give me time to have a family life.  So in about two weeks I am going back to school for the third time in my adult life.  I will be spending the next year figuring out how to be a paralegal and work in a 9-5ish world. I’m going to have to learn how to think differently, act differently, and even dress differently.  Almost as big of a culture shock as when I joined the Navy and left for boot camp  24 years ago.

The thing the sticks with me most is the goodbye.

I was apprehensive about last night.  I wasn’t expecting a blow out or anything.  I just wanted acknowledgement of the time I had put in there.  Restaurants tend to have a HIGH turnover rate, being there almost 6 years is practically a lifetime in serving years. Prior to this job, my time in the military and the time I spent at my last duty station, was the longest time I had spent at one job.  That goodbye sucked.  It sucked BIG STICKY ASSES and it still hurts sometimes.  I was told they (my last duty station in the Navy) were throwing me a goodbye BBQ on the beach on the base.  I showed up but nobody else did. The party was cancelled and I wasn’t told.  That’s pretty much the shittiest thing you can do to a person. So, even though goodbye hooplas have been made for others who have left Dogfish, I wasn’t holding my breath.  I knew it was a bigger deal for me than it was for anyone else.  I just wanted acknowledgment. I got it.  I got a cake and a song and it was perfect.  I got some AMAZING tips ($50 on a $110 tab), a job offer, and I got to see a few faces I hadn’t expected to see ( staff and customers).  And the two now ex coworkers who left without even a “see ya”, not really a surprise.  A little disappointment, but they never fooled me with their fake-at-work-friendship-only anyway.

Right now I’m not sure what I feel. We, the family, are taking a little vacation next week up to Hershey Pa. And on the 21st of this month I start classes.  Limbo just feels really strange.  I am going through a really big personal change in my life, but nobody else’s notices.  I feel like it should be headline news.  But it isn’t.  It’s just life.  And life is movement and change and chaos and a lot of wtf now?  But I feel at peace. And I feel excited.  And I feel sad.  There is so much I am going to miss about my Dogfish family. So many faces I won’t see everyday. So many jokes and laughter that I will no longer hear so many silly stupid moments in time that I cherish so very much. And so so so many amazing people that I met.  I made friendships even when I didn’t mean to.  And thanks to Facebook I can keep up with them long after we stop crossing paths. But I will miss the faces.  And the beer.  And the Caesar salad. And the wings and the ahai tuna.  And in a week, they won’t miss me at all.  If that long.

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About goddessofglitter

I like to laugh
This entry was posted in commentary, i never said i was normal, life's whispers, sprinkles of glitter, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Don’t Work Here Anymore

  1. shovonc says:

    Best of luck! Couldn’t you write for a local paper or a website or something? You write well.

    • Thank you so much for that! What a wonderful compliment. I’m very glad you enjoy what I write. I certainly wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to write for a paper AND get paid for it, but the opportunity has yet to present itself.

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