Me too! He could be half asleep and then I say it’s bedtime and it’s like he’s had 7 shots of espresso. I don’t care what any of the parent guides say . . . this is how it goes down in my house. . .
Get in the shower. Turn the water on. Yes you can turn the lever yourself. Turn the lever to make it warmer. Get in the shower. Wash off. Finish up. You need to be done by now.
Get out of the shower. Get out. Dry off. Dry off. Dry your hair. Use the towel. Stop that. Dry off. I can still see water on your back. Use the towel. Hang that up. It doesn’t belong on the floor.
Get dressed. Get dressed now. Are you in your pjs yet? You have two pieces of clothing to put on, you should be able to count to 15 and be dressed. Do you have your pants on? Stop picking your nose. Get dressed. Stop chewing your finger. Stop that. Go blow your nose, wash your hands, and brush your teeth.
Have you brushed your teeth? Why not, you should be done by now. Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth in the bathroom not walking around the house. Don’t talk to me like that. Thank you for saying your sorry. Finish up its past your bedtime. Give nite nite love to everyone.
No you can’t stay up. You were already asleep by this time last night. Why are just standing there? Why are your pants on inside out? Yes they are I saw the tag. Yes they were. Yeah the tag is inside now, don’t call me a liar I know what I saw. Why are you just standing there?
Get out of the closet. Get out. You can’t sleep in the closet. Because it’s a school night. If you want to sleep in the closet on the weekend I’m not going to stop you. No you can’t sleep in the bathroom. Because you are too young to be passing out in the bathroom. No you can’t sleep in the tub.
Feed your fish. No you don’t see fish poop. That’s algae. It’s an organism that grows.
Good night I love you. Sweet dreams.